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Writer's pictureTracy Kearns

Why do they not just talk to us?


As a parent, this can be so hard to admit to ourselves but sometimes you need outside help!


Your child could be self-harming, suicidal or dealing with trauma that somehow we didn’t even know happened!

Maybe they need to learn emotional regulation or mindfulness to support themselves every day!


The truth is often as a parent we do not know everything our child goes threw, there is a gap.


What your child tells you and what actually is going on in their complicated world!



This isn’t because you are not approachable, trustworthy or do not have their respect.


If anything it will be those things that can sometimes work against us as a parent.


That child you have raised doesn’t want to disappoint you, hurt you or make your life harder

They love you!

So why can they not let me help them?

They love you…..

They don’t want to see you hurting and feeling the same way they are, you are emotionally linked and no matter your background and communication skills panic, hurt, and fear will flash into your body language.


Children are not silly they see that and they do not want to share things that might damage the bond/respect/relationship that you have!


This is why we need outside help!


You are not alone as a professional I will admit that I need outside help with my own children, there is only limited coaching I can do with my children because they are too close to me!


This isn’t just children and parents, it's often also how we try and heal ourselves!


Yes we do heal ourselves, no one can do it for us but that doesn’t mean we do not need guidance or a helping hand, we need an outside source! Someone who doesn’t judge no matter what we tell them, someone, strong enough to hold that space and support you while you explore that healing!


We all need outside support.


Think about it would you want to go to your mum and explore your worst fear and deepest problems?


No, then why would your children not need someone they can work with?


Support is not judgemental and available, just reach out



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