Today's quote and exploration are looking into the assumption that if something has gone wrong it's your fault!
How often have you done that?
Assumed that you are the one that is in the wrong?
In the beautiful structures that we call human interactions and experiences, it is not uncommon for moments of friction, disagreement and disappointment. The reflective tendency to shoulder the blame is a habit and not one you have to keep!
It is based on social conditioning, past experiences and our upbringing, these experiences and internal messages have built a system in our minds where we equate making a mistake and receiving disproportionate blame to normal!
The beliefs are dug deep into your psyche even when at a logical level you can see that self-blame is not rational or constructive it can be hard to see that there is often alot more to that moment than just you!
These shaped responses can be challenged and changed and here is how using positive and coaching psychology you can start to rewire those patterns!
Positive psychology:
Positive psychology, with its focus on strengths, resilience, and well-being, provides a counterbalance to the pervasive negativity bias that often underpins self-blame. Practices such as building gratitude, changing self-talk and visualising outcomes can help to rewire the pathways associated with self-blame and build greater resilience!
Getting started: Practice gratitude and I dont mean just once a day in your journal (although brilliant) I mean repeatedly start looking for something around you that you are grateful for! Set alarms for a gratitude check-in, take photos, make lists whatever floats your boat. Keep going and that gratitude pathway becomes natural instead of a task!
Coaching Psychology:
 Coaching psychology offers a supportive and empowering framework for individuals seeking to challenge self-blame and embrace personal growth. Through reflective questioning, goal setting, and action planning, coaches assist clients in exploring alternative perspectives, reframing limiting beliefs, and developing practical strategies for overcoming self-blame.
Getting Started: Self Self-compassion Every time you try to take the full blame for a situation, stand back and put someone else in your space! Take you out of it !
If that is your friend how would you break down the situation and their part in it? what would you say to them?
Creating this self-awareness with gratitude and self compassion will start to break you free from that cycle of self blame!
Challenging those automatic assumptions is a three-step process
Noticing them
Challenging them
Learning from them
Recognise that mistakes are an inherent part of being human and doesn`t diminish your worth or value as an individual, mistakes are there to teach us not something to fear.
Dont hold onto that unwarranted guilt and embrace a compassionate and empowering mindset !
In the words of psychologist Carl Rogers, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
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